How You Relate To Yourself Matters.
Start a new relationship with yourself today.
Befriend Your Body.
Well-being is our natural state, regardless of age, weight or fitness. Feeling at home in our body gives us the freedom to enjoy life even when things are challenging. We tend to seek pleasure in external sources when it’s actually an internal experience caused by biological, chemical and neurological functions. Pleasure arises out of a sense of wholeness and connectedness to one’s body. It is our birthright and a byproduct when we dare to fully inhabit our body. Facing discomfort, numbness and even pain is liberating to the extent we let go of chronic contractions and blocked emotions. What is required is our willingness to breathe and move and give voice to everything we have held back for fear of disapproval.
Once we let go and experience the free flow of energy we feel empowered. We know who we are and what we are capable of. When we have legs to stand on we can take a stand, when we are in touch with our gut we have guts. This embodied state of being allows us to set healthy boundaries, own our sexuality and choose what truly nourishes us. Naturally our vitality and self-esteem improve once we increase our capacity for pleasure.
Befriend Your Mind.
Our beliefs can either unconsciously recreate painful childhood experiences or consciously create a new reality. Once we bring consciousness to the beliefs we formed based on painful experiences we have the power to choose what we want to belief, and therefore what we want to experience.
Our mind is not only a tool to process information but also a tool to build a healthy ego that can let go of itself. This is a very important function. Are you able to let go of your mind and surrender to your higher mind? Is your mind your best friend, a tool for observation and self-reflection? Or Is your mind unable to focus or filled with criticism, blaming and judging yourself and others?
Once we are able to identify limiting beliefs we are no longer identified with them. We can then see ourselves clearly without distortions. Those critical voices we internalized in childhood no longer hold the power they once had and we can live in the present, feeling centered and grounded. When our mind is connected to our heart we can speak our truth with love, and we are able to navigate our reactions and respond with words of affirmation and compassion when faced with disapproval.
Befriend Your Emotions.
Feeling all of our feelings is the key to living fully and loving freely. Protecting ourselves against the feelings we believe will kill us, such as heartbreak, helplessness, rage or fear only leads to self-alienation and a lack of authenticity. When we dare to dive deep into our emotional self we are fully restored able to accept what is. This allows us to take the next step or wait, depending on what the situation requires.
A disconnect from our feelings can lead to depression, anxiety, compulsion or addiction. It can cause dis-ease. It also interferes with connecting emotionally with others. It can even prevent us from bonding with those we love, causing us to feel alone or isolated.
Learning how to tolerate all feelings takes courage and practice. Core Energetics techniques are powerful and can cause breakthroughs when we feel stuck. Grounding exercises build a container strong enough to tolerate feelings of grief, powerlessness, fear, hurt, anger etc. Exercises to build a charge followed by discharge bring awareness to feelings we blocked because consciously or unconsciously we saw them as threatening. Opening up emotionally restores us to a sense of well-being, personal power and allows us to be present.
Befriend Your Inner Child.
How do you relate to yourself when you are disappointed, scared, angry, jealous or distressed ? Are you kind to yourself? Or do you abandon, reject, betray or punish yourself? If we grew up in an environment that held us with love when we were upset we learned to be loving to ourselves. We learned how to self-soothe, be kind, understanding and encouraging with ourselves. If we were raised in a harsh environment we most likely relate to ourselves that way, often believing that there is something wrong with us.
Learning how to identify the cues of our inner child needing attention and developing a relationship with this vulnerable young self is a skill that can be learned. This increases our capacity for empathy and compassion and gives us security.. When we can hold space for this young part of us and allow all feelings we learn to accept and embrace ourselves fully. By giving attention in the way we wished a parent had given us attention when we were little, we give ourselves the love we search for in all the wrong places. Once we engage lovingly with ourselves no matter what, we become playful and light-hearted, just like children.
Befriend your Demons.
Core Energetics comes from the premise that there is only one energy. Trauma causes this energy to split. Part of the energy flows freely and is aligned with a yes to life, the other one blocks feelings, awareness and love, negating all that is life affirming. It manifest as resistance, as a no to life. The more unconscious we are how this lives in us, the more in the grip of it we are. We then tend to sabotage things that are most important to us, or we don’t even try.
Underneath every demon is a little child who wasn’t heard, seen or cared for at a critical time in their life. This hurt child made the decision to never be hurt like this again and uses their will to not feel their pain or be vulnerable ever again. This intention, often unconscious, causes fragmentation within the psyche and separation in relationships. It can lead to anxiety, depression, addiction, a sense of being tormented and isolated. We belief we have to hide this part that seeks revenge and withholds love. We cover it underneath a mask that we have come to identify with, when in fact it is only an adapted self created to fit in.
Sadly we often inflict those same hurts on those we love and wish to be close with. Once we bring the light of consciousness to the trauma we experienced we can choose to heal this split. Taking responsibility means to make a conscious decision to not protect ourselves from the feelings that caused us to numb ourselves to the pain we couldn’t bear when we were hurt. This is a powerful transformational process that requires guidance and presence of someone we trust and has done this work themselves.
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to ones courage”
—Anais Nin